LISTENING:  ART OR SKILL?

ART:  Deliberately arranging elements in a way to affect the senses or emotions.

SKILL:  The ability that has been acquired by training

I was once asked: “Candee, what’s your immediate reaction when someone attempts to correct you or questions your thinking on a matter?”  I blurted out: “what are you trying to say?!”  I think I used the ART of listening at that moment.

I paused and remembered that listening means hearing without any interference of YOUR thoughts.  OUCH!  I humbly admitted that my first reaction is usually “defense to the perceived offense.” 

No matter how tactful or diplomatic the messenger is, if their response is contrary to mine, I hear but not listen.  If I feel passionate about a matter, then I tactfully justify why one needs to align their way of thinking to mine.  My lesson?   At the end of the day, it-is-what-it-is.  There is nothing more obnoxious than having to put on an umpires mask before having a conversation with someone.      

In the days ahead, my resolve will be to use my ears to receive (skill), and my brain to achieve (art).   I WILL PRACTICE THE SKILL OF LISTENING. My inner peace depends upon it.